Who Was Raised Catholic? Show of Hands...(hand emoticon here)

     Its been a while since I posted. I can 'splain!

     I got a job, see...are you disappointed? FlashbacK! I had a blog about my anarchistic ways (though I never put that term to the behaviours till a year or so ago...) in 2008 when I freaked out about how culty Whole Foods is (John Mackey's the devil MAYN!) Anyway, this blog was on myspace and I had a fan. Dook he called himself. Ah Dook...Ill never forget your words of encouragement...I'm actually serious. He also bought a painting from me. (And when he sent payment he also sent a recipe for black forest cherry torte. Awwe! Dook, you remembered!) Dat was a hundy fiddy!!! Anyway, it was a fun and free spirited summer, until I logged into chase dot com. Then I got a job, and then I disappointed Dook. Dook, selling a painting here or there and dumpster diving, it ain't an income... :( Dook! Dook...? Echo???

    ...Although “jobs” aren't always the solution either. But jobs, as I am remembering and experiencing, can be fun, wee little stepping stones, and all jobs have their own special set of perks that come with them. I'm all about the perks and the freedom. And if food is involved, I'LL BE THERE! Past perks of former jobs I've had: 87% food related. Sometimes very GOOD food related. Like, four star dinners and fish eggs and blinis for breakfast. The other 13 %: flight benefits and borrowing books for free. (Cough. Thanks Half Price Books, ever hear of the library? Actually that came in handy when I owed 40 dollars in fines...)

     So, turns out, my part time, very chill coffee shop job comes with food and drink! I always suspected the drink would come when the coffee shop dream became reality...though I never suspected I could handle six shots a shift with such...finesse! I get food and bev fo free, without apologies. No, hey can I have this? Is it OK if I eat now? Can I be a partner to my bodies needs? Its pa-retty sweet. Being that I am still going through the food I've found from before (so much left!) and that in a way, Im “diving” at work (through glass covered displays) I haven't been checking the dumpsters as much as I had been.

     Confession time! A friend of mine came over for a night of boxed wine, and when she left, she found two boxes of Kashi in my dumpster. God, are you there? Its me, Janet. I felt a twinge of envy...I mean, what a find! Kashi's expensive! And that fiber? Thats not going anywhere for a long time, no matter what the company funded studies say...sigh...you cant win em all...but from my very own dumpster!?

     I'm only partly kidding there. I DID feel envy. I haven't found anything for days. But diving is like that because things are constantly changing. And I just don't need it. The purpose of dumpster diving and cutting corners not the end but a means, and its fun, and there'll be a day when I can pass by some sweet finds. Maybe there will even be a day when I dont even look (Ha! Not! Way too curious...) But really, I had to ask myself, what am I some sort of a bum? What am I going to run after my friend with a broomstick, like I saw my neighbors do a week ago? True Story. But then I realized that although my income for 2010 was lower than when I was eighteen, I'm not just after free stuff...Im in it for the surprise! “Happy February Thirteenth Day!” “Happy Class is Over Time!” “Happy theres no more wine at home and you made less than you did when you were eighteen and you are almost thirty!”

     Not gonna lie. Tax season got me down for about a day. Less than I made when I was eighteen. LESS. THAN. I. MADE. WHEN. I. WAS EIGHTEEN. And I didnt pay rent then! No wonder I was dumpster diving! That was instinct, will to survive...The lack of income was not due to laziness or a poor economy, it was due to soul searching, school, and sacrifice now for long term gain. No immediate gratification this year when it came to money...And it's O.K. But it was a bit of a shocker. And I avoided the blog.

     There. Confessed! Now to say three hail marys and off to bed...and more frequent blogs to come...

Ambiversion, Books and Boxed Wine

A love of solitude can certainly be your friend when you are living a thriftier life...

A few years ago when I was a fan of reading the dictionary (not MY dictionary, Barnes and Noble's dictionary :P) I ran across a word: ambivert.

Ambivert: one whose personality type is intermediate between extrovert and introvert.

I dont think you can expect to thrive in this world without some degree of flexibility and ambiversion can be a very advantageous quality. Of course, it can also lead to problems: like choosing a social job that is fun for a while until the introversion rears her soulful head, or choosing a quiet job where you suddently and for a long spell find yourself desirous of social expression....but it is ultimately a good thing and frankly a rare thing, like true androgyny. Part of what makes me a good candidate for dumpster diving and living frugally, without the risk of suicide, is that I am flexible. It doesn't mean I dont have preferences, I do. But being able to bend and be happy with WHAT IS will serve you well in the long haul.

I dated a man who coined me as a consummate introvert and I am pretty sure I lean more toward that side since I have such an active imagination and can live vicariously (some of the time :) ) with a certain degree of satisfaction. But I think my financial situations have made me develop introverted qualities that may not otherwise have had a chance or reason to develop. Friends. Cost. Money. They love to go out, they make excuses for being together, and if you are friends with people who do not have similar monetary tendencies, they can end up costing you if you overindulge...or making you seem like a cheap bitch if you stop and THINK once in a while.

Think about it. How much money do you spend because you have been trained to believe (by epopel who want your money) that being successful as an adult means you have to have a full dance card, so you book your non working days full of activities that lead you to spend money? I swear I cant leave the house without spending money, and I'm a tightwad!

Insecurity...it doesnt stop once you start dating if it was there to begin with. If you are single: How often do you go to a bar with people or in the hopes of meeting people and dole out waaaaay too much money for a mediocre time that leads to at ( shortterm ) worst: aqward sex or ( longterm )worst: a relationship that lasts entirely too long? An older lady I worked with a few years ago gave a lecture on how every couple she knew who met in a bar and got married ended up divorcing. Thus endeth my interest in bars. AND If you are coupled: how often do you go out and spend money as a testament to your affections toward one another, instead of staying home or choosing a less costly alternative at the risk of seeming cheap and self centered? Somehow money became synonymous with romance.

Heres a secret: Im romantic. In a holistic sense. I live my life like I am the heroine of my own novel that I am continuously writing and editing. This definition that I have made for myself does not require coupling, though its nice when it happens, and it obviously does not require money. Money can too often lead to a lack of creative solutions and forethought. Its a false sense of security, and far better than daddy's money (daddy can also refer to the company you work for, or your significant bread winning other) is the confidence that being self sustaining can bring.

Margaret Mitchell spoke of the heroic characters in her novel, Gone With the Wind, (Scarlett and Rhett) as being people with gumption, and gumption is what sustained them through the changing climate of their world. They bent, but they were by no means weak. They did whatever it took to get through the lean times, and you knew they would see prosperity in the end. Part of this was because they, while proud, were also honest about their situation and acted accordingly. When Scarlett needed a dress she took the goddam curtains and made a goddam dress goddammit! Maybe she wasnt writing a blog about it, but she did it because it had to be done.

How often do you adjust your lifestyle to match your true income (for NOW, not for when you used to make money, or for that day when you WILL make money?)? And when I say income I mean money that is yours, rightfully earned, that requires no payback?

(More on this topic in a later blog, Im sure!)

In any case. I dont go out much these days and thats OK. I've been hankering to read Gone With the Wind again but always forget to check it out and am too busy to read anyway. So when I got home from running errands I remembered this website that I found a few months ago that has public domain literature in free MP3 downloads and I've been loving it all night as I worked on the computer.

Www.booksshouldbefree.com

No Margaret Mitchell :( but LOTSA good stuff! Check it out.

What errands did I run? Buying 5 liters of wine for 13.99. (Thank you, Franzia!) and selling books to Market Fresh Books. I got home and worked and made dinner. Dumpster pasta, with bulk olive oil and garlic in depression glass bowl that I dumpster dove, alongside a glass of cheap chablis.

For boxed wine, its not too shabby.