A love of solitude can certainly be your friend when you are living a thriftier life...
A few years ago when I was a fan of reading the dictionary (not MY dictionary, Barnes and Noble's dictionary :P) I ran across a word: ambivert.
Ambivert: one whose personality type is intermediate between extrovert and introvert.
I dont think you can expect to thrive in this world without some degree of flexibility and ambiversion can be a very advantageous quality. Of course, it can also lead to problems: like choosing a social job that is fun for a while until the introversion rears her soulful head, or choosing a quiet job where you suddently and for a long spell find yourself desirous of social expression....but it is ultimately a good thing and frankly a rare thing, like true androgyny. Part of what makes me a good candidate for dumpster diving and living frugally, without the risk of suicide, is that I am flexible. It doesn't mean I dont have preferences, I do. But being able to bend and be happy with WHAT IS will serve you well in the long haul.
I dated a man who coined me as a consummate introvert and I am pretty sure I lean more toward that side since I have such an active imagination and can live vicariously (some of the time :) ) with a certain degree of satisfaction. But I think my financial situations have made me develop introverted qualities that may not otherwise have had a chance or reason to develop. Friends. Cost. Money. They love to go out, they make excuses for being together, and if you are friends with people who do not have similar monetary tendencies, they can end up costing you if you overindulge...or making you seem like a cheap bitch if you stop and THINK once in a while.
Think about it. How much money do you spend because you have been trained to believe (by epopel who want your money) that being successful as an adult means you have to have a full dance card, so you book your non working days full of activities that lead you to spend money? I swear I cant leave the house without spending money, and I'm a tightwad!
Insecurity...it doesnt stop once you start dating if it was there to begin with. If you are single: How often do you go to a bar with people or in the hopes of meeting people and dole out waaaaay too much money for a mediocre time that leads to at ( shortterm ) worst: aqward sex or ( longterm )worst: a relationship that lasts entirely too long? An older lady I worked with a few years ago gave a lecture on how every couple she knew who met in a bar and got married ended up divorcing. Thus endeth my interest in bars. AND If you are coupled: how often do you go out and spend money as a testament to your affections toward one another, instead of staying home or choosing a less costly alternative at the risk of seeming cheap and self centered? Somehow money became synonymous with romance.
Heres a secret: Im romantic. In a holistic sense. I live my life like I am the heroine of my own novel that I am continuously writing and editing. This definition that I have made for myself does not require coupling, though its nice when it happens, and it obviously does not require money. Money can too often lead to a lack of creative solutions and forethought. Its a false sense of security, and far better than daddy's money (daddy can also refer to the company you work for, or your significant bread winning other) is the confidence that being self sustaining can bring.
Margaret Mitchell spoke of the heroic characters in her novel, Gone With the Wind, (Scarlett and Rhett) as being people with gumption, and gumption is what sustained them through the changing climate of their world. They bent, but they were by no means weak. They did whatever it took to get through the lean times, and you knew they would see prosperity in the end. Part of this was because they, while proud, were also honest about their situation and acted accordingly. When Scarlett needed a dress she took the goddam curtains and made a goddam dress goddammit! Maybe she wasnt writing a blog about it, but she did it because it had to be done.
How often do you adjust your lifestyle to match your true income (for NOW, not for when you used to make money, or for that day when you WILL make money?)? And when I say income I mean money that is yours, rightfully earned, that requires no payback?
(More on this topic in a later blog, Im sure!)
In any case. I dont go out much these days and thats OK. I've been hankering to read Gone With the Wind again but always forget to check it out and am too busy to read anyway. So when I got home from running errands I remembered this website that I found a few months ago that has public domain literature in free MP3 downloads and I've been loving it all night as I worked on the computer.
No Margaret Mitchell :( but LOTSA good stuff! Check it out.
What errands did I run? Buying 5 liters of wine for 13.99. (Thank you, Franzia!) and selling books to Market Fresh Books. I got home and worked and made dinner. Dumpster pasta, with bulk olive oil and garlic in depression glass bowl that I dumpster dove, alongside a glass of cheap chablis.
For boxed wine, its not too shabby.